Posted by admin on July 9, 2012
In the western culture, when a guy pops up the “will you marry me?” question and the girl says “yes”, wedding plans soon rolls out. But in the Philippines where people have strong family ties and great respect for the family’s opinions, before even reaching the step one of planning the wedding, the guy almost usually need to seek the approval of the girl’s family first thus the “pamamanhikan”.
Pamamanhikan is nothing like the “meet the parents” set-up since most Filipino women introduces the guys they are dating even before they officially become a couple. The Filipino family is very strict and protective of the girls in the family that’s why from the start; they expect the guys courting to have the courage and respect to introduce themselves and their intentions towards the girl.
Pamamanhikan is when the guy together with his family (parents and siblings) visits the home of the girl, to formally announce his intention to marry the girl in front of his family. Sometimes, the pamamanhikan affair may also be done outside like in a reserved venue or restaurant. The guy would invite the rest of the important family members and make the announcement there. Once the family accepts, the wedding’s important details are settled at this point and become a family decision instead of the couple’s alone. These are common situations seen in Filipino weddings or any other important events in one’s life: any preparation and decision always becomes a family affair.
Another traditional practice is the gift giving. The guy’s family usually brings something for the girl’s family as a gift in exchange of their approval. The practice is almost similar to the dowry practice in some cultures.
At this point, a guy’s great relationship with the girl’s family prior to the announcement would come in handy. Since it would be a great foundation for a smooth sailing wedding preparation and married life.
Posted by admin on June 24, 2012
Going about a wedding plan is stressful. Here as follows are some tips to ease away headaches and perhaps just go with the motion and flow towards the wedding day.
You know very well that you are financially independent. Consider this planning for a wedding your “Baptism of Fire”. Understand what details are important to you. So, set priorities. Why, because it determines how you will go about in planning or allocating a budget while raising a family. Since this is after all the end result of the celebration.
Wedding is a celebration to be shared to all and everyone. Ask yourself, “What matters most to us?” Determine if it’s a need or a want. Then, decide on the top three (3) most important elements to be one’s priority.
In the top three devote much of the time and allocate the funds as needed. Stick to a reasonable wedding budget. Next, pick the least three elements, also as to time and expense.
In deciding your choices ask yourself practical and pragmatic questions. Must the wedding go on a limited or unlimited budget? Must the guest be limited or unlimited? Must it be formal or an informal wedding? This is just but some of the questions to be probed and asked about together as a couple.
Noticeably and perhaps admittedly, the Philippine culture gives much importance to parents in coming up with the least of guests to be invited. These are you close kin’s or relatives, and close family friends.
Having decided on the number of guests on each side be sure to stick to it. Your choice must be based on priorities and a lot of considerations. Never feel a sense of guilt that the uninvited will be offended or overlooked. Ideally, it should be on an equal number of guests. This is, of course, the traditional set-up.
There is an option to deviate from the norm. As young professional of today make your own wedding lists. Be sure to trim them down and not to add up the guest list. One needs a meeting of the minds in order to appease everyone.
In the reception, limit your dinner to three (3) courses but still amazing to the palate of your guests. For sure you can still have a tasty meal on a budget.
A Filipino wedding is indeed a family oriented celebration. It is a gathering of close friends and kin or a reunion of relatives.
So the number to show up and be counted should be done strictly, especially when you send out the invitations. That is the importance of the RSVP.
Remember, a wedding need not be fancy. In the context of the principle of matrimony the heart of the wedding is the vows said for each other and with a priest blessing your union.
It is this simplicity done in a sacred and holy manner, with all the elements of dignity and the charm of simplicity that matters.