Posted by admin on July 9, 2012
In the western culture, when a guy pops up the “will you marry me?” question and the girl says “yes”, wedding plans soon rolls out. But in the Philippines where people have strong family ties and great respect for the family’s opinions, before even reaching the step one of planning the wedding, the guy almost usually need to seek the approval of the girl’s family first thus the “pamamanhikan”.
Pamamanhikan is nothing like the “meet the parents” set-up since most Filipino women introduces the guys they are dating even before they officially become a couple. The Filipino family is very strict and protective of the girls in the family that’s why from the start; they expect the guys courting to have the courage and respect to introduce themselves and their intentions towards the girl.
Pamamanhikan is when the guy together with his family (parents and siblings) visits the home of the girl, to formally announce his intention to marry the girl in front of his family. Sometimes, the pamamanhikan affair may also be done outside like in a reserved venue or restaurant. The guy would invite the rest of the important family members and make the announcement there. Once the family accepts, the wedding’s important details are settled at this point and become a family decision instead of the couple’s alone. These are common situations seen in Filipino weddings or any other important events in one’s life: any preparation and decision always becomes a family affair.
Another traditional practice is the gift giving. The guy’s family usually brings something for the girl’s family as a gift in exchange of their approval. The practice is almost similar to the dowry practice in some cultures.
At this point, a guy’s great relationship with the girl’s family prior to the announcement would come in handy. Since it would be a great foundation for a smooth sailing wedding preparation and married life.